Oscars @ The Daily Digest: The Golden Globes

7:00 pm. MAKE IT STOP! Make the stupid ripoff of "Waiting for Tonight" stop!

Damn, girl! Halle Berry's got this show clockin'--it's 7:02 and she's announcing Best Supporting Actress. And it's...Jennifer Connelly. Score one for the staff. (AngelDust says, "She looks like Demi Moore...only not.") Awww...that was sweet. She just thanked Russell, and he mouthed back, "You're welcome." Also, she wished her dad a happy birthday and thanked her son. Awwwwwwww.....

7:06. Martin Sheen is going through Famous Kids in Attendance tonight...why? Oh, wait, that's right, "Miss Golden Globe" is always somebody's kid. This one's Pat Benatar's daughter--if that doesn't mess with your head, I don't know what will.

He's announcing best TV comedy actress (we don't stand on official titles here)...winner: "Charlie Sheen." Big laugh. "No, Sarah Jessica Parker." We're sorry, but...we think she's taken the eclectic fashion thing just isn't working for her this year. But congrats anyway.

7:10. AngelDust curses loudly as Eric McCormack loses best comedy TV actor to Charlie Sheen.

7:12. Josh Hartness and Kate Hudson present best supporting actor. (Big cheer for Jim Broadbent. Also for Ben Kingsley.) Broadbent wins in an upset. In fact, two staffers predicted Kingsley would walk away with it, with only Cleolinda cowardly enough to try to cover her ass: I'm gonna say that the recently knighted Ben Kingsley may have the lead in this one, with Steve Buscemi a close second to win (and my personal second choice). Although I wouldn't count Jim Broadbent out either...

7:20. Okay, here's why Jeremy Irons was here. He's here to present a clip for A Beautiful Mind (partisan grrrrrrrrrrr from Cleolinda). He trips over "men and woman--man and women--husbands and wives, whatever," perhaps demonstrating the real allure of the Golden Globes: The boozy good-time carelessness.

Musical/Comedy TV series (a category which seems to have been specifically invented, back in the day, for the future advent of Ally McBeal, one of the nominees): Sex & the City seems to be the one to beat, according to most people. However, Cleo thinks Will & Grace should win just for the Eric McCormack Hannibal Lecter impression in the nominee clip...but Le Sexe et La Ville (as we with French DVD subtitles that won't go away like to call it) walks off with the Globe.

7:30. Wow, Carrie-Anne Moss is shiny. And finger-waved to boot. We didn't specifically try to predict the TV awards, so we've got no real insight here into Best TV Movie, as it were, except that Band of Brothers has been sucking up awards...as well as the Judy Garland TV biopic. (Yikes, those two are going head to head? They're usually in different categories--movie and miniseries.) Band of Brothers plays the WWII card and wins.

Let's ask a little question here: Why do the Globes (and a couple other awards show) have niche categories (separating out comedy and drama, etc) for major things--lead actors, best film--but they lump, oh, supporting actors and TV movies of all stripes into one big category?

Best actor in a TV drama: Kiefer Sutherland, for 24. "KIEFER!" bellows AngelDust. ("I don't even know who he is...I just like his name," the young A.D. says.)

Okay...sigh. Dick Clark said there were 24 awards, so we're seven down...14 to go. We wouldn't be so impatient if these were just movie awards, we guess... TV's nice, but movies are our job, you know?

7:40. A.D. and Mother of Digest are discussing Black Hawk Down....sigh. Cleo is now the only one in her family who hasn't seen it.

Best actress in a TV movie up...personal hunch, it'll go to Judy Davis, although Hannah Taylor Gordon (from the many clips we saw) was astonishing as Anne Frank. However, Judy Davis seemed to channel Judy Garland in a way that was a little frightening, even, to behold. Ooh, Julianna Margulies is also nominated for Mists of Avalon--we were very impressed with the subtlety of her British accent. Although Leelee Sobieski seems to have managed a Polish accent very deftly in her own nominated film, Uprising... And Judy Davis takes the statuette. (Good for her! Davis has too long been undervalued in this business.)

Best actor in a TV movie: It's not as spooky an impersonation, but the James Franco/James Dean clip is great--like something straight out of Rebel Without a Cause. Oh, wait, Kingsley's also up for the Anne Frank movie? Totally forgot about that. (Lili Taylor was also in that? Dude, we needed to have seen that, can't believe we missed that one...especially since it was free, being on TV...) Whoa! James Franco in a surprise win!

7:55. Quick question: WHERE ARE THE MOVIE AWARDS?

Oh, God! Okay, nevermind, we're cool--Angelina Jolie was whispering discreetly in husband Billy Bob Thornton's ear, not licking it. Had us goin' there for a minute...

Best Actor, Musical or Comedy--Well, ask and ye shall receive, huh? Staffer bet was Gene Hackman.... (What, no clips?) And the staffer prediction takes it.

Michael Caine presents a clip from In the Bedroom... (Are they still trying to hide what happens to the son in the publicity clips?)
And moving on to best musical/comedy actress (big cheer for Nicole Kidman; "Renny" Zellweger?)...And Digest prediction (the Duh Category this year if there ever was one) Nicole Kidman takes it; we are shocked--shocked! ("Oh, I have just seen the impressiveness of the dress," blurts out A.D. "It's split up to like here." Cleo would like to note that it also seems to be made out of crochet, from her vantage point.) Nice shout out to Ewan, too.

(During the commercials clip of Golden Globe shenanigans: Why is Mike Myers headbutting Kevin Spacey?)

8:10. Oh, wow! Audrey Tautou--Amelie! We love her! Tautou says that she hopes she'll be understood--fellow presenter Andy Garcia says he'll translate--and proceeds to repeat what she said in Spanish. (That's darling.) Best screenplay--Akiva Goldsman (Beautiful Mind)! WHAT? NOT MEMENTO? WTF? (Oh, hell. A Beautiful Mind's gonna win best picture. Dammit.)

Best actress in a TV Series Drama (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, frickin' Beautiful Mind best screenplay our foot....): The booze must really be flowing, because every single actress got a pep-rally decibel cheer. And it goes to--Jennifer Garner, who says, "I'm really glad I had the first glass of wine; I'm kinda regretting the second," after the crowd explodes at her win. She also mentions that she knows "I was good in Dude, Where's My Car?," tongue in cheek, and seems to be holding up pretty well despite the wine.

A.D. is playing with her reversible glasses case. Cleo could use a little of that wine herself now.

(Of the NBC "The More You Know" commercial celebrating famous teachers, A.D. says, "Okay, that's the last time you're ever gonna hear 'Plato' and 'Sting' in the same sentence.)

8:20. "And now, nominated tonight for Best Song--Sting!" to present the Mulholland Drive clip. "WHERE'S PLATO?" yells A.D.

Original Score: A drunken cheer goes up for Howard Shore for LOTR. The staff was almost evenly split on this one, between Moulin Rouge and Lord of the Rings--Cleo never would narrow it down more than that--and Moulin Rouge takes it. (Cruel, but perhaps a popular sentiment, as winner Craig Armstrong rambles on: "Okay, you just won for Best Score," says A.D. "No one cares about you. You're Scottish, that's nice--go home.")

8:30. Hugh Jackman, saluting the Hollywood Foreign Press: Also Australian. Also hot. We are moving to Australia, if anyone knows of a vacancy.

Damn! As a HFP chick gets up to talk, you actually hear the wineglasses clinking in the background.

Robert Downey Jr. (A.D.: "He's still alive?") presents Best Supporting Actress for Anything on TV: A very flawed category, in our opinion. Rachel Griffiths (also...Australian) wins for Six Feet Under, dressed as a stripper's feather boa. ("You crazy bastards!" she blurts out, twirling her hair, "What were you thinking!" No, honey, what were you drinking?)

Cleo: "We need to count up how many Australians won."
A.D.: "We need to count up how many drunkards won."

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