|Atlantis: The Lost Empire
|Inky: * 1/2
Starring (voices of): Michael J. Fox, Cree Summer, James Garner, Jim Varney, Phil Morris, Jacqueline Obradors, Leonard Nimoy
PG for: action violence
Previews (on the video): Lilo and Stitch, Cinderella II: Dreams Come True (*gag*) and Peter Pan: Return to Neverland
When this came out on video, I raced to Blockbuster, brother in tow (well, he drove) and nabbed a copy to rent. We went home and popped it in, expecting to see another great new Disney movie, just as good as the soon-to-be classics Mulan and The Emperor's New Groove.
Boy, were WE in for a disappointment.
The movie starts out good, I'll grant it that. Interesting plot (and there's a kitty, too!) and some amusing jokes. But once they get past the attack scene (with a BIG lobster-like leviathan), it slowly degrades into a New Age compost heap, complete with people who can heal themselves with the power of a crystal, hypnotized women, men who turn blue when cut with one of the aforementioned crystals, and stupid explorers.
First of all, this is just like watching a Dragonball Z cartoon (which is not a compliment, by the way.) It's cheesy garbage, playing to the audience, with absolutely nowhere to go. The characters are idiots (except the geeky hero), and the jokes are all hammered flat, even though some of them could be quite funny.
The only saving grace is a cranky old woman and a big African-American doctor. They have some good lines, the woman being grouchy (She says, in a monotone voice, "We're all gonna die," and, "I sleep in the nude." Hee hee). He's a kind, gentle soul. Together they give the movie and extra half-star, saving it from eternal damnation from moi. Whatever you do, don't rent this movie, unless you LIKE Dragonball Z (I'll pray for you.)
Inky is reachable at Inkynobi@aol.com
Heard about the Nadia: Secret of the Blue Water vs. Atlantis: The Lost Empire controversy? Read more about it here.